Well, well, well. I couldn’t even see the season out! I took over Chorley at the end of November and 16 games later, before we even reach April, the chairman’s chucking my P45 at me.
I’d be the first to admit that I’m not the strongest FM player the world has ever seen, but being sacked by Chorley represents a new low.
You know those people who say a bad workman always blames his tools? They’re wrong. Tools let good workmen down all the time – tools like centre back Andrew Teague and ‘star’ striker Jason Walker. Sure, they might look ace in training, and you have your assistant manager in your ear all the time telling you they’re great, but then they put in dog shit performances on the pitch.
My last game in charge turned out to be a 1-0 defeat at relegation rivals (and all-round bell ends) Salford. I don’t deny that it was a bad loss. We’d fallen right back into the relegation scrap after losing five of our last seven, and going down to a late winner against Gary Neville’s plaything was the final straw as far as the board was concerned.
I took over Chorley when they were 18th. I leave them 19th, teetering on the abyss:
Thank god for Rosie O’Neill, though – the press officer who ‘forwarded’ the news of my sacking onto me for ‘my attention’. She thought it’d be nice for me to know, bless her:
I also reckon that 16 games, or 113 days, is the shortest amount of time I’ve ever spent managing a club on any version of FM before getting sacked (although I did walk from Ipswich when I’d lost nine in a row and only won one in 18 back in the CM2 days). My career earnings amount to just under £5,200.
I won four, drew four, lost eight, scored 13, conceded 24 and picked up 16 points. We just couldn’t score enough goals. Sadly, all the games I was in charge of fit on one screenshot:
Here are a few more details of the feckless twats that let me down:
So, I’m an unemployed manager at the lowest level of the game with a sacking on my CV. If I’m serious for just a moment, I do think the decision was a little harsh since we hadn’t actually spent any time in the bottom three – and the expectation set by the board at the outset was to avoid relegation.
With seven games to go, I could’ve steered them to safety. But I guess we’ll never know!
I hope they go down.
All that’s left for me to do is tap that space bar and see what comes up. I’m sort of excited about what will happen next, but in the meantime I think I’d better hit the SI Community to work on a tactic that improves on my frankly diabolical 0.8 goals-per-game ratio.